Friday, January 18, 2008

The crush factor

what constitutes a crush?

if i say that i have known girls better than most Indian guys, i might perhaps not be exaggerating.

I was born a sole brother to a dozen odd sisters in a large joint family. at a very early age, i learnt to dissociate the etheria of my classmates' fantasies and the Bollywoodian HemaMalini-esque portrayal of the feminine form from the reality. I saw my sisters wax their legs (I won't mention the arm pits and let this blog be accussed of grossness!), drool while they sleep, lounge the entire weekend in their goddam chemises and oiled hair till it drove me screaming Aaaaargh, and used bogs that they had seiged for hours - leaving smells taht no man can possibly produce.

I thankfully had proper affairs of the heart too where my theory that the vignettes from the feminine life that i had been forced to witness in childhood were pretty much the real thing.

And yet I had my crushes.

The stopping of the breath, the choking of the voice, the articulation of sounds that our ancestors had left in the jungle millions of years ago, and the restless torment.

Why doesn't it ever stop?

Take Tom Cruise -who along with Gary Cooper and Salman Khan, must rank as one of the luckiest guys in the world in terms of scoring (albeit with enough of the factors to score on his side).

The girl he broke up with was Penelope Cruz. Pe-ne-lo-pe Cruz.

And he can still do this for his next date.


I know this is a horrible post, but I was getting frightend with my consistency ;)

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