Friday, April 17, 2009

Don't skip the funerals

When I search for a contact on my mobile handset, two names pop-up: an erstwhile friend and a mentor – one of them is dead, the other probably so. Since their names appear at the top of many frequent contacts, I see their names and remember them at least once a week.

In my opinion, to truly believe that someone is dead, you have to see his/her cold lifeless body. Otherwise, a part of you will never believe. You have to see the slight tinge of blue on the skin and feel the stone-like coolness to close chapters within.

It is not a surprise that most funerals end with a feast and even celebration. It is only when you have exorcised the fact of the person’s existence within that you can celebrate it. And in celebrating that life, you’re actually celebrating your own life – the life you spent with the person – even when he/she was not around.

To sum it up: Skip the marriage or the son’s first mundane, but go for the funeral.


TradeExpress said...

i dont think youre celebrating anything. youre just creating rituals around an inherently unpleasant fact, which your system finds terribly hard to process, and reminds you of your mortality, so it there is at least the impression of sense.

even looking at the dead body doesnt do much good. the presence of the dead body also makes you feel like the person is right there (maybe thats why whackos stuff their dead and sleep with them). when they're burning on the pyre, does it hit you then? not even then. hence the statements "i cannot beleive..i cannot come to terms....i cannot digest...that theyre not around anymore"

it never really hits you, but at the same time you know it to be true. the human mind wasnt really constructed to conceive death.

gayatri said...

Too much!

Bland Spice said...

God Trade! You're even further gone than me.

I agree somewhat - it might be a subjective experience. For me, touching a dead body of someone I loved - the lifeless coldness - did convince me that the man was well and truly dead.