Mah religion

I have embraced a religion. It's called Guturguturism.
According to my religion, this is the list of activities that offend it -
1. The name of God in either the masculine or feminism gender. My God is a eunuch.
2. The portrayal of any god or goddess in the man-invented shackles of clothes. This means that I will be raiding all Hussain exhibitions that depict the goddesses in saris.
3. The evocation of any prayer without the acknowledgment that besides being all-powerful and all-knowing, God is also all-sexy.
4. I am against the killing of plants and can have them only by means of the flesh of other beasts. Hence, I expect all restaurants to abide by my tastes. That means, McD, which already doesn't serve cheeseburger and hamburger in India, would be picketed to drop the buns and the plant-grown seasoning too. Only the chicken patties would remain.
5. We believe that the most offensive part of a woman's body is her eyes. If we let women see the fuck we're making of everything, they will ultimately put two and two together, and upset the delicate unequal balance we have foisted on them. Hence, all women are expected to wear the antiburkha where their eyes would be covered by the black cloth and the rest of the body with guaze.
6. We regard all books by Harold Robbins to be the very words of our God; describing his narcotics-driven fantasies.
7. Our sons will have everything, but their foreskins, removed.
8. Our gods might not have invented the first airplane (as seen patently in the udankhatola) or nuclear missiles (sudarshan chakras). But we claim that he did invent the dildo and the middle finger. That, and the expression - Fuckin' A!'
9. Our Gods cannot be depicted in either idols, cartoons or portraits. However, carvings on turds are permitted.
10. Our first God appeared in the form of Bruce Lee. But he died before we could crucify him. We are waiting for the second coming that will happen three weeks after the Apocalypse. According to the epic, the God appears in the fom of a ram on heat and buggers all the other Gods doing the judgement right in the very courtroom. Then he bellows and tells the gathering - 'Go home you good-for-nothing c***suckers! Whaddya think this is - a f***ing exhibition?!?'


Any room for my religion?