Reaping the garbage you sow

Now Raj takes offence at big B.

Interesting how minnows have learnt the art of getting footage in the media by threatening celebrities. Like leeches, they suck of the fragile fame of the victim knowing he is pretty helpless, his or anyone else's' rights pretty much trespassable in a state with a weak and corrupt law and order machinery and a tabloid press. Unlike South India, where the big stars have militant fan following to rival a militia if needed, Bollywood stars do not. However, the reach of their popularity cuts across more regions and they are truly national celebrities. But, as the saying goes, every Friday decides how bright their stars wax and wane.

The politicians hit these insecure stars where it hits them most - their business. Violence in a soft state like ours comes dirt cheap and even these minnows can now afford to scale minor beatings on taxi stands and local trains to national news. With only a handful of idle youths, one can beat girls(Muthalik), tar mayors, marry unwilling couples (Muthalik again) and vandalize libraries and destroy artifacts of the very civilization whose offence is claimed as the motive for the violence(Bhandarkar oriental research institute).

To quote the article on Bhandarkar vandalism, "If politics is not to be confused with morality play, democracy has the quest for power, deal-making and horse-trading as the very stuff it survives on."

Why is our mass understanding of liberal democracy slipped to this level? Why have our minds become such mush? Because our minds feed on garbage. And the trash-can we mostly roil in is Bollywood itself - its dangerously over-simplified please-everyone sold-out take on the world actually going on to define the world-view of many of us.

Alam, that is why calling garbage garbage is not about elitism - it is about preempting simplistic world views. Mass violence relies on simplistic rationality which can draw clear lines between us and them, and be ignorant and hence undeterred by the antitheses to the offered theses of offence and victimhood.

The tables have now turned on these very icons, esp. SRK, who for years has "captured the imagination" of the nation with festering garbage and appeased and fawned over a two-bit demagogue like Bal Thackrey. Even now, SRK cya's, the I-am-a-pathan bluster gone, and is reportedly feeling so-Enid-Blytonley "awful" that the Thackreys "misunderstood" his statement rather than call them gundas on their face. Don't blame him - even a helpless Rushdie had to dole out a pitiful apologia for his Muslimness.

SRK & Big B, my sympathies. But you sold your souls to the devil for empty fame and you have to piggyback others through it now and then. It is all a part of the system that so exalt you and your droll mediocrities.

An inflexion in our weak state history?

The following step to detain 1200 Shiv Sainiks is going to be a definitive moment in our history.

The point is not MNIK, Khan, Pakistan, the Thackreys and their fumbling crises of Raj and Rahul. The point is can disagreement of opinions be translated into violence and gundaaraj?

Since the decades, we, the people, have been held hostage to bandhs, bans, rioting masquerading as "popular" protest, fueled by the petty interests of politicians and religious bodies, because of a spineless weak state. In fact, the only police action heard so far in these cases have been the arrest of the victim for disturbing the peace and sensibilities of the community the gundas have claimed to represent.

The state action reminds me of the watershed Whiskey Incidence where the US government had to assert its newfound federal authority by sending troops to collect the taxes due to it.

Let us hope, despite the deepest roots of our cynicism digging into the cracks of our faith in the state, that the state stands tall against this institutionalized violence this time and set a similar precedence as President Washington set a long time ago. Protest in a democracy has its definite peaceful channels; otherwise it negates the very tenets of fundamental rights which the system stands on.

The Congress has the numbers to stand tall right now. Its actions from here will go a long way to give credit to its stated intention of making a change.

My song in Goa

Love the video.

Just ignore that lame Al.

Lyrics from here

Hot sun beating down
burning my feet just walking around.

Hot sun making me sweat
'Gators getting close, hasn't got me yet

I can't dance, I can't talk.
Only thing about me is the way I walk.
I can't dance, I can't sing
I'm just standing here selling everything.

Blue Jean's sitting on the beach,
her dog's talking to me, but she's out of reach.

She's got a body under that shirt,
but all she wants to do is rub my face in the dirt.

Cause, I can't dance, I can't talk.
Only thing about me is the way I walk.
I can't dance, I can't sing
I'm just standing here selling.

Oh and checking everything is in place,
you never know who's looking on.

Young punk spilling beer on my shoes,
fat guy's talking to me trying to steal my blues.

Thick smoke, see her smiling through.
I never thought so much could happen just shooting pool.

But I can't dance, I can't talk.
The only thing about me is the way that I walk.
I can't dance, I can't sing
I'm just standing here selling...

Oh and checking everything is in place
You never know who's looking on
A perfect body
with a perfect face - uh-huh.

No, I can't dance, I can't talk.
The only thing about me is the way I walk.
No, I can't dance, I can't sing
I'm just standing here selling everything.

But I can walk.
No I can't dance.
No no no I can't dance. (begins to fade out)
No I said I can't sing.
But I can walk.

Popping the youtube cherry

My first video upload in youtube.

The brilliant waiting scene from High Noon.

Item-bomb

From Indian Express (Link)

Implying that Ms. Kaif has, so far, not been appearing as an item in her movies.

Right.

Katrina to play a bit role would be more appropriate, if you ask Pranab Mukherjee. (Hazard Warning: Do NOT ask Mahesh Bhatt!!!)

Please also note that according to the report, Kat would not play the role (as opposed to a hole) of "an" item girl, but the generic idea of "item girl" in its entirety. Plato would be proud.

How do you pop a cherry? - Love Uncle answers

Love Uncle: I guess you would have to smear some butter on it and then microwave it for ten minutes.

(Long pause.)

But why would you want to do that?

Never-seen stolen script from a XXX

Scott and Wendy are a couple. One day Scott returns home while Wendy is watering the plants. They have sex. Daniel and Amanda are their neighbours. Amanda watches Scott and Wendy have it and then goes and has it with Daniel. Amanda and Wendy meet at a supermarket where they have some profound conversation, like how they can't have enough of it, for five minutes which ends in a lesbian dalliance. Scott has sex with Amanda; Wendy has sex with Daniel.

Finale: They all have sex together – except for Scott and Daniel.

Going to Goa

If there are no last minute change of plans, I should be, in another twenty-four hours, in Goa for a three-day get-together with the IIMB gang. I will be the only bachelor there and so am stacking three books in the bag because I expect to be left alone for long periods: I know what the sun, the sand and the water does to your libido.

I am reading a little after a long time. Among Others, I finished Mohd. Hanif's 'A Case of Exploding Mangoes' a few weeks back. I moved on to one of my favorite sub-continent author, Mohd. Hanif's 'A Wasted Vigil'. And now I am halfway through Daniyaal Mueenuddin's 'In Other rooms, Other Wonders'. (A reading by the author of one of the stories here)

Good. Better. Best.

I might have rhapsodized for pages about Hanif and Aslam here if I had not moved on to "Other Rooms." Other Rooms is simply, without a doubt, the best literature in English I have ever read on post-colonial subcontinent life. I will stop here, as this is not about the book. But I will definitely read this collection twice again this year. It's that good.

I am carrying with me to Goa Dead Man Walking, Paddy Clark, and Midnight's Children.

Monty Python: Novel Writing reported Live

Listen to Michael's excellent imitation of live sports commentator.



Transcript

Novel Writing (Live From Wessex)

---

Anouncer:	And now it's time for Novel Writing, which today come from the west country on Dorset.
Commentator:	Hello, and welcome to Dorchester, where a very good crowd has turned out to watch local boy Thomas Hardy write his new novel "The Return Of The Native", on this very pleasant July morning. This will be his eleventh novel and the fifth of the very popular Wessex novels, and here he comes! Here comes Hardy, walking out towards his desk. He looks confident, he looks relaxed, very much the man in form, as he acknowledges this very good natured bank holliday crowd. And the crowd goes quiet now, as Hardy settles himself down at the desk, body straight, shoulders relaxed, pen held lightly but firmly in the right hand. He dips the pen...in the ink, and he's off! It's the first word, but it's not a word - oh, no! - it's a doodle. Way up on the top of the lefthand margin is a piece of meaningless scribble - and he's signed his name underneath it! Oh dear, what a disapointing start. But his off again - and here he goes - the first word of Thomas Hardy's new novel, at ten thirtyfive on this very lovely morning, it's three letters, it's the definite article, and it's "The". Dennis.
Dennis:	Well, this is true to form, no surprises there. He started five of his eleven novels to date with the definite article. We had two of them with "It", there's been one "But", two "At"s, one "On" and a "Dolores", but that of course was never published.
Commentator:	I'm sorry to interrupt you there, Dennis, but he's crossed it out. Thomas Hardy, here on the first day of his new novel, has crossed out the only word he has written so far, and he's gazing off into space. Oh, ohh, there he signed his name again.
Dennis:	It looks like "Tess of the D'Urbervilles" all over again.
Commentator:	But he's...no, he's down again and writting, Dennis, he's written "B" again, he's crossed it out again, and he has written "A" - and there is a second word coming up straight away, and it's "Sat" - "A Sat" - doesn't make sense - "A Satur" - "A Saturday" - it's "A Saturday", and the crowd are loving it, they are really enjoying this novel. And it's "afternoon", it's "Saturday afternoon", a comfortable beginning, and he's straight on to the next word - it's "in" - "A Saturday afternoon in" - "in" - "in" "in Nov" - "November" - November is spelled wrong, he's left out the second "E", but he's not going back, it looks like he's going for the sentence, and it's the first verb coming up - it's the first verb of the novel, and it's "was", and the crowd are going wild! "A Saturday afternoon in November was", and a long word here - "appro" - "appro" - is it a "approving"? - no, it's "approaching" - "approaching" - "A Saturday afternoon in November was approaching" - and he's done the definite article "but" again. And he's writing fluently, easily with flurring strokes of the pen, as he comes up to the middle of this first sentence. And with this eleventh novel well underway, and the prospects of a good days writing ahead, back to the studio.

Dalrymple on Jaipur Lit Fest

http://www.guardian.co.uk/theobserver/2010/jan/17/my-week-william-dalrymple

...

et it is amazing how incapable literary geniuses can be of the simplest activities such as arriving at an airport in time or catching connecting flights. Applying for visas and filling in forms seems to be a particular problem for men and women who effortlessly win Nobel, Booker and Pulitzer prizes. Each year, at least two or three forget to apply at all, throwing the whole festival into confusion.

...

One of the things people like best about Jaipur is that we are completely egalitarian. There are no reserved spaces for grandees, no green room or specially roped enclosure for our authors – they mingle with the crowds and eat with them on a first-come, first-served basis. Salman Rushdie, who made his first public appearance in India since the publication of The Satanic Verses, as well as Bollywood stars such as Aamir Khan and Amitabh Bachchan, have all mixed in the crowds without bodyguards or VIP enclosures. In as hierarchical a country as India, this is all rather radical.

...

t is this egalitarian ethic that excites the Indian press much more than the literary aspect of the festival. Last year, there was a flurry of press when Vikram was seen eating on the ground as there was no space for him on any of the dining tables, and when one senior Indian literary editor found herself joining the queue for the ladies behind Tina Brown.

But the biggest excitement of the last year was when an Australian volunteer usher rather peremptorily asked two beautiful young women to move out of the aisle as they were blocking an exit, apparently unaware that the women in question were the adored Bollywood goddess Nandita Das and Julia Roberts. To their great credit, both women moved immediately and without complaint.