Friday, February 22, 2008

Baba Ramadoss

"Apparently hitting back at Bollywood star Shah Rukh Khan Union Health Minister Anbumani Ramadoss on Friday said public icons who passed off smoking on screens as 'creative liberty' should take a leaf out of the book of actors like Aamir Khan how to use the artistic tool.
"Creative liberty should be used to improve society and not kill mankind," Ramadoss said in response to a query on public icons supporting smoking on screen as their right to creative liberty.
"Look at Taare Zammen Pe," he said, saying the film has helped in changing the mindset of thousands of teachers and parents in looking at the problem of dyslexia.
"That is what creative liberty should do," he said.
Shah Rukh had recently defended in Delhi on-screen smoking saying it was a creative liberty of artistes."

Baba Ramadoss has opened my eyes.
He has defined liberty in terms of constraints - a supremely paradoxical feat.
Of course, the paradox of a politician talking about creative liberty is not that surprising: hasn't he shown it enough in changing the constitution of a country of 1.2 billion to target(or rather, AIIM) one man?

Baba Ramadoss has spoken
His Ten Commandments
  1. The Orwellian Ministry of Health is now your one and only God.
  2. Thou shalt not have any more strange Gods before this God: like those mad ranting hippies trying to show the society its mirror a la Oliver Stone, Coppolla, Nihlani and Scorcese.
  3. Movies like Taxi Driver, Apocalypse Now, Fight Club, Paanch which do not deal with dyslexic kids and definitely show a lot of smoking and, shockingly, acknowledge sex, sleaze and the dark forces as major influences of the human condition are henceforth banned. Or at least stamped with the statutory warning.
  4. Hence forth, all creative liberty has to be wholesome.
  5. Henceforth, Mr. Aamir Khan owns the exclusive titles to creative liberty.
  6. In the known absence of Aamir Khan for years altogether, the wholesomeness and creative liberty will be defined by an expert committee of Suraj Barjatya, Karan Johar and Aditya Chopra .
  7. Going back to the Ed Sullivan era and the King, no body part below the waist will be shown in movies.
  8. In fact, no body part will be shown since kids will be able to put two and two together and attaching missing parts to whatever parts escape the censor's scissors.
  9. The only scripts approved henceforth are the Ramayana (even Mahabharata has too much gore and moral ambiguity).
  10. Ram has to be shown eating an Apple all the time in any movie in this new gusty era of creative liberty.

I think the dyslexic condition of our Health Minister which is forcing him to comment into something much beyond governments and societies, leave alone venal politicians, can be corrected only by feeding a strong dose of nicotine mixed in a concoction of whisky and rum - rectally.

I have a "creative" and wholesome script, Minister.

All the world's politicians are brought on to an island. There their nuts are ripped off in a manner to ensure death by either pain or bleeding, and fed to hungry pie dogs. Solves two problems - no more politicians. No more hungry pie dogs - for a day, at least. None of the pie dogs will be shown smoking. But we might put some lighted cigarettes into the mouths of the screaming and dying politicians for a brilliantly creative symbolism showing how death and cigarettes go hand in hand.

Please tell Mr. Khan to drop by my house for the script next time he's in town.

1 comment:

therapy said... nice to bump into you here:)

And very interesting post. SK deserves this particular break.