Speaking to self

The more I think about it, I think I am an absurdist.
Absurdity is, as Camus explains, the gap between our innate desire for unity of answers and meaning in this world, what we see and the gap. All three are essential ingredients – there can be no feeling of absurdity without our expectation, the reality and the gap.
Another way to define absurdity is it is an objective assessment of the way things are – haphazard and meaningless, and the way we live – force of habit and rituals, elusive hopes notwithstanding. A world where values and meaning do not mean anything actually: if this is true, then so is the contrary.

I do not think there is meaning to existence, and am comfortable with it most of the times. My life is not an act of hope, an act of elusion as Camus says – I do not believe in meaning bigger than life: religion for example.

Yet, and this is where the dichotomies start: I am committed to the idea of liberalism. That everyone has the right to be whatever they are and want to be, wherever they are, with equal rights in all things, as long as their conduct is within the precepts of decency (and not morality).
Equally, I am attached to the idea of honesty – though I do not profess I am an honest person most of the times (our instincts and habits precede our idea and thoughts – again from Camus).

So, I have a value system.

A value system is different from a desire – a desire is simply what I want while a value is what I expect of others too. I expect the world to be honest – that is a value. But if I desire an apple (let’s keep this post clean), I do not expect everyone in the world to desire it too.

Is this irrational?
Having values means I imply meanings greater to what I see and know.