Monday, September 17, 2012

Bounty on Rushdie

How is an inconsequential Iranian fanatic-group no one has heard of getting its anachronistically regressive and criminal message transmitted  all over the world? What power does this  bounty have if the press just stops to consider how it is being used by every little group that has a  hate message to spew - which alone it doesn't have the capacity to splay beyond its own neighbourhood walls?
Why publish this claptrap and give them the power to harm?

I am not being dramatic but our very civilization is at stake here. Don't trade it for a few more sold copies.

The eternal return


I bring to you this weeping delightful piece of journalism, baiting me with that breath-bating title: 'Barfi!' left Lara Dutta in tears and more

What?  What?! I went chasing but the mystery of the "more", oozing along with the tears, was never revealed. My guess is, given her condition,  it must be the milk she is lactating.


Continuing to the next wonderful article, the nebulously titled I enjoy keeping fit: Malaika, it informs us in a remarkable conflation of two cliches, "Young girls would give their right hand(sic) to have a figure like Malaika Arora Khan." Reminds me of something I read a long time ago but could never muster the courage to try: castrated men don't go bald. 
And really, girls, have you ever seen a one-handed obese "young" icon? That right hand might just be getting in the way of your prospects; chop it off.

By the way, the article seems to take its inspiration from Luck in trussing itself with its motif, and nothing else. "...I also love being fit. I am very particular about my fitness and lifestyle. I enjoy keeping fit..." 
Replace that "fit" with any other passion, "shit", "having sex", "playing ludo", "slapping cows" and you even have another coup for the next day.

Moving to the next gem, Only happy films for 'Ishkq in Paris' director, which informs us how director Prem Raj says he wants to make emotional, but happy films because, clearly, happiness doesn't qualify as a state of emotion. Or perhaps, he is searching the name for the genre: drama.

As for his profound statement, "Emotion have to be there, but will be light-hearted, which one can see and laugh.", what's with this entire article and self-reflexivity? Is the reporter drawing us into some deep philosophical questions on the nature of celebrities and how they and the hack-journos covering them have nothing meaningful to say than repeat the same half-literate tripe again and again? Do you think?

Saturday, September 15, 2012

Men will be men

From Manu Joseph's Serious Men:

"Men, in reality, did not have friends in other men. That the fellowship of men, despite its joyous banter, old memories of exaggerated mischief and the altruism of sharing pornography, was actually a farcical fellowship. Because what a man really wanted was to be bigger than his friends."

Wednesday, September 05, 2012

Indian Express photographs of the day - Explained

















Bose DK


Satyendra Nath Bose deserved Nobel


Well he didn't get it. Finito. And he's dead and doesn't care about it any more. Neither does Gandhi.
Stop complaining and go and do something of your own.
Nobody is victimizing you Indians. You are getting in the way of yourself and each other, and YOU KNOW THAT! 

Tuesday, September 04, 2012

World famous photographs explained













O! My fellow-Indian athlete!

In all my life
I have never heard your name
To all your efforts
Against impossible odds, I hear
I have never given a passing thought
But now that you have
Somehow
Managed a medal
Somewhere
I am flag-wavingly proud of you!

Monday, September 03, 2012

Imagine


Imagine, there is a suicide where the poor wretch horribly mutilates his face with knife and acid, slashing his genitals with kitchen knives and thus bleeding to death.
Imagine the glee of the news-reporters who report this strange case.
Now, imagine all these reporters going back to their homes and committing suicide in the same bizarre manner.
Imagine, the next set of reporters who report this fantastic story.
Imagine, these reporters dying the same night in a similar fashion.

Who would come forward now to report their deaths?